Harry Potter and the Pink Bunny
by DracheFeuer
Summary: NEW CHAPTER NEW CHAPTER EFFECTIVE AS OF 10/4/01! read it please
1. The Pink Bunny

Harry Potter and the Pink Bunny  
  
Harry Potter was bent double in his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon Dursley's garden, watering their roses,  
the last of the countless chores he had been given that morning by the Dursley's, Harry's least favorite people   
in the muggle world. Gratefully, Harry stood up, rubbing his back, and walked in the door, looking around. What  
he saw was definitely not the kitchen. There was a large...no, HUGE pink bunny hopping toward him, screaming "My  
name is MR. ROGERS! I am a BUNNY! I have a BELLY BUTTON! I'm wearing polka-dotted undergarments! I chewed Polar   
Ice! I'm CONSTIPATED! Do you have any X-LAX?! Looking at the bunny's hopeful face, Harry used his wand to conjure  
up a box of laxative. "Here," said Harry. "where am I?" He asked "YOU are in the land of MAGICAL MUSHROOMS! yelled  
the pink bunny. Finally, magic. thought Harry, who misunderstood the meaning. The bunny pulled out a small piece  
of paper, picked up a plant from the soil, ground it up, put it on the paper, and rolled it up. "DO you have a  
light?" he asked. "Lumos!" Harry said. The bunny looked at the small light, confused. "I NEED FIRE!" The bunny   
shouted in Harry's face. You need a breath mint too. said Harry to himself. Aloud, he said "Pyro!" a stream of   
fire issued from Harry's wand tip. The pink bunny put the paper in the fire, puffed it, and fell over dead.  
  
  
MORAL: DON'T DO DRUGS!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry, X-Lax owns itself, and I own the bunny, a two-liter of MT. DEW, and a   
large bag of Jalepeno Dorito 3D's.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. 

Harry Potter and the Yellow Cadillac  
  
Harry Potter looked at the dead pink bunny. "Oh well." He said. All of a sudden   
a big yellow Caddy pulled up beside him and a blue bunny stuck his head out the window.  
"You idiotic fruity stupid dumb freakozoid bozo crazy SOB, you KILLED my brother's dog's  
owner's roommate's laptop's repair technician's sister-in-law's great-grandmother's son's   
friend's wife's cat's groomer's pet's BROTHER!" he took a breath. "Thank You, do you have  
some booze?" Harry looked uncertainly at the bunny. "ALCOHOL!" It screamed. "Uh, what was  
that spell Ollivander used? Oh, Yeah, DRUNKSHINESS!" Harry yelled, and a fountain of wine   
shot into the 40 oz. glass he had conjured. "THANK YOU!" yelled the blue bunny, who took   
the glass, chugged it all in one gulp, and got in his Caddy. The bunny started up the car,   
took off at full speed, slammed into a tree that had somhow gotten there, and fell over dead.  
  
  
  
MORAL: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry, the Caddy, or the booze. All I own is a 20 oz. cherry MT. DEW and  
TV Guide.   
  
  



	3. 

Harry Potter and the Red Bunny  
  
  
  
Harry looked at the smoking wreck of the blue bunny and said "Oh, what a waste of a good car."  
and he walked on. A horse-drawn carriage with a red bunny in it. It stopped right beside Harry and the  
bunny screamed in his face. "I can't take it ANYMORE! I NEED SOME ROPE AND A TREE!!!!!!!" Harry conjured  
a tree and some rope for the bunny. "Why do you want it?" Harry asked. "I NEED to get OFF this WORLD!"  
The bunny tied the rope around the tree stood upon the cart, made the end of the rope into a circle,   
and...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Stuck his legs in the circle and swung till he flew out into space.  
The reason for this became clear as Harry stumled on a rock with a note under it.  
Harry picked up the note and read "I love my family, and you thought I was suicidal!"  
Harry folded up the note and smiled at the stars.  
  
  
MORAL: no matter how depressed you are, suicide is NOT the answer.  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter... NOT. All I is owning are a Lipton Brisk and a LIMP BIZKIT CD  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's note: I decided to make this chapter halway serious 'cuz you guys don't like my other ones ~sniff~ 


	4. 

Harry Potter and the Skitsofrenic(sp?) Bunny that is Yellow  
  
Harry Potter was staring at the sky, thinking I hav GOT to get out of here!  
a big yellow bunny came up to him and yelled "I am Toby!" (voice changes)"No you   
aren't, I am Blakely!" (voice changes) "I am Bungholio!"   
(Toby: "I am GAAAYY!!"   
  
(Blakely: "I am as straight as my... uh, never mind, I am straight!!"  
  
(Bungholio: "Hee, HEE, straight as his #!@%, Hee!"  
  
(DracheFeuer006: "Shut up, you skitsofrenic freak, or I'll...  
  
(Bungholio: "Are you threatening ME!?"  
  
(Toby: "Or me??"  
  
(Blakely: "I am a Street Sign!!"  
  
(DracheFeuer: "Is he crazy?"  
  
(Toby: "Yes, we are."  
  
(Bungholio: "SACRIFICE!"  
  
(Harry: What about me, THIS FIC IS ABOUT ME AND A BUNNY!!!"  
  
(DracheFeuer: ~snaps fingers~Harry vanishes~ "BYE!"  
  
(Toby: "I am commiting SUICIDE!!"  
  
(DracheFeuer: "Did not you read last chapter, the?"  
  
(DracheFeuer: "scrambled my speech, Who has?"  
  
~Voldie bursts in~ "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~breaths in~HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
(DracheFeuer: "Are you DONE yet?"  
  
(Voldie: "Screw you, Dragon Fire!!"  
  
(DracheFeuer: ~gasp~ "You know GERMAN???"  
  
(Voldie: "No, Harry told me, the stud!"  
  
(Harry: ~pops back from alternate universe~ "I bought souveneirs for  
EVERYONE!"  
  
(Bungholio: MOUNTAIN DEW RULES!"  
  
~fuzz~ ~kzzt~ "were los--" ~kzzt~ "them!"  
  
`BEEP` Computer voice "End of transmission."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. 

Harry Potter and the Purple Bunny  
  
Authors Note:I will give credit where credit is is due.(looks disgustedly at himself)  
I sound like my teacher! EEEW! Right, thank you to Wolf's Eyes for the Purple Bunny idea!  
On with the story!  
  
Harry Potter looked at the dead yellow bunny(s) on the ground. Each of it's personalities  
had killed themselves. "Right, I have GOT to get out of here!" He turned around to look for some   
exit, but found his path blocked by a large, purple bunny. "Do you have a PLYSTATION?!" it screamed.  
"Uh, no, but Dudley has one, I can summon it for you. ACCIO PLAYSTATION!" a PS1 came hurtling toward  
them. YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
screamed the bunny at the top of his lungs. "TV TV TV TV TV TV TV!" It yelled. "ACCIO TELEVISION!"  
Harry bellowed (?!) and a 36" t.v. whooshed (?!) at them from nowhere. The bunny quickly hooked up   
the electronics and playstationed for 9 hours straight*. The Bunny then took a break to get food  
and drink. Then it came back and scooted right up to the T.V., went blind, and ran around like a   
headless chicken(?!) until the bunny ran into a tree and fell over dead.  
  
*= I did that once, honestly!  
  
MORAL: Get outside and enjoy nature once and a while!  
  
Author's note: Thank you to Sarah Black, potionsmaster, Wolf's Eyes, Tiny Snapdragon, and DeViLs AnGeL  
for reviewing my... er, strange story. No one heard this, but I am working on a ~gasp~ serious story!  
  
  
THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!  



	6. The Interlude

Harry Potter and the Interlude  
  
Harry looked at the dead purple bunny on the ground. "Oh, darn."  
Then he sat down and started playing the playstation. 


	7. The Orange Bunny

Harry Potter and the Orange Bunny  
  
Harry looked up from the Playstation and saw a big orange bunny hopping  
toward him. "Hello, electronics disturb me, me, me, me." He took a step   
back from the Playstation. "See, I got too close, and my speech was warped.  
Harry thought this was very funny, and wondered what would happen if he   
pointed a vcr remote at him and pushed a button, so he took one and the bunny   
stepped even farther back. "NO!" It yelled, and turned and ran. Harry pushed   
the pause button, and the bunny stopped dead in mid-hop. Harry hit the rewind  
button, and the bunny hopped backwards to him. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
Harry yelled. "This is FUN!" Just then the bunny started changing. "he" was   
turning into a "she", and a very beautiful, human she. Two barrels popped out   
of her chest (YOU know where) and Harry screamed. "AHHHHHHHHH, it's a FEMBOT!"  
Gasps are heard from some unknown entity. "What the?" Harry said. "It is ME!"  
said Voldie, popping out of the tree that the Red Bunny had swung on, and the   
Blue and Red Bunnies got killed on. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha." said the  
Voldie. "Riiiiiightooo." said Harry, and the Fembot/Bunny exploded.  
  
  
MORAL: If you are a Fembot, do NOT be exposed to extreme heat, pressure, or  
electronic devices.  
  
Disclaimer: I not Harry own Voldie do or. Own the I Bunny do Fembot and the.  
  
A/N: Hey peeps, it's me, the author of six bunny fics, an interlude,   
and a serious story. I want to say that PLAYSTATION RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	8. The Green Bunny

Harry Potter and the Green Bunny  
  
Harry looked at the parts of the fembot/bunny covering the ground  
and all over himself. "These are new ROBES!" Harry screamed. He turned to  
walk away, but (come on, finish the sentence) found a big green bunny in   
his way (Haven't we already dejaed this vu more than once?) The bunny said  
"Hello, do you have any Vicodin?" "Er, no." said Harry. "I am a nurse." I  
steal my patients medicine." Bunny, said the. ;Koya?" aid-say arry-Hay. "I  
soal ake-tay icodin-vay." bet can't tell you am I something on." Said Harry.  
The bunny considered this, and decided to pull out a potsie and smoke it. So  
the bunny and Harry got very HIGH, and they both ran into the tree that ksks  
ksskittititilalalawowowoerutyfhfhskskeitititilaalall (sorry, I was playing  
chopsticks on the keyboard, I am watching Drew Carry and some dits said "hey,  
when i play chopsticks, it says skittlebit) caused lots of death, though Harry  
survived and started singing "I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I'm a survivor,  
keep on survivin'!"  
  
MORAL: See children, drugs are baahd, If ya don't belive me, ask ya daaahd, and if  
ya don't belive him, ask ya mooom, she'll tell ya how she does em' all the tiime.  
AND if you are a nurse use your own D@^N medicine.  
  
A/N: I know I shouldn't joke about it, but isn't it pathetic? 


	9. The Radioactive Bunny that Glows

Harry Potter and the Radioactive Bunny That Glows  
  
A/N: I am so sorry that I have not posted in a long time. I had to  
get over a very large block, and I am moving into a new house. I   
haven't had much time on my hands.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bunny.  
  
Harry looked at the dead green bunny next to the tree.  
"Gee, that's to bad." he said, and then he was bathed in a sudden,  
eerie, faintly green glow. Harry turned around, and saw a large   
glowing bunny. "Baaaaaa," said the bunny, like a sheep. "I am   
radioactive, from the vilage where the chemicals spill, and I live  
with the Oblongs." "Oookaaay." said Harry. "Duhh, you not know who   
Oblongs is?" said the bunny. Then the bunny walked over to the TV.  
He turned it on and flipped to the WB, where The Oblongs was on.  
Harry sat down and watched the show.  
  
Half an hour later, Harry realized something. "Hey," he   
said to the bunny. "You haven't died yet. I think I will help.  
Avada Kedavra." and the bunny died. 


	10. The Red, White, and Blue

The Red, White and Blue Bunny  
  
Harry put away his wand, dusted off his hands, and sat down   
in front of the T.V. He flipped through the channels till he saw an  
interesting looking show. He was watching for a while, then some dude   
came on to the screen and said, "We interrupt the scheduled program to  
bring you this special broadcast." Then a new person came on the screen   
and started talking about some stupid lego shortage in India. Then the man's  
eyes widened. Any underage wizards out there, watching this in Magical Mush-  
room land will TURN AROUND NOW!" "Huh?" said Harry. "BOO!" yelled a voice behind   
him. He turned and saw a red, white, and blue bunny. The bunny looked at him and   
shouted "BOO!" again. "Rrright." said Harry. The bunny stepped closer, stumbled  
and tripped into the television. The bunny jerked from side to side, being   
electocuted. The buny drew one final breath, and whispered, "I may be slipping  
fast, but America's spirit will never die." and the bunny died.  
  
MORAL: watch your step when near televisions.  
  
MESSAGE: No matter what you do to us bin Laden, we will prevail! God Bless America!  
  
A/N: whoa, that was kinda sentimental ~shudders~  



End file.
